Peace of Mind

I am continually reminded, in my times of weakness, that the world is changed through prayer. A wise professor of mine once told me that prayer requires both silence and action...and so I will pray.

People of Change

In my life I feel very fortunate to be where I am. I never expected that at 22 I would be married to an amazing man, graduating from university, and have the career of my dreams. I am so blessed to be a small part of what World Vision is doing to change the world! I can't imagine where I would be right now if I would have continued on the trajectory I was on...void of adventure, empty in spirit and cramming for the LSATs! I am so glad that I made the decision (free will or otherwise) to follow my heart, to embrace love, and to choose to make a difference in the world!

I met some really amazing people this week and shared some inspiring conversation about changing the world. I am absolutely certain that Peter Clark and Renuka Mohan are going to change the world! They will be travelling to Rawanda this summer with World Vision's Destination Life Change program and documenting their journey on their awesome website, redtv.ca. Many of my friends have asked me about the Destination Life Change program, and I encourage those of you who are interested to follow Peter and Renuka on their journey!

So check it out... www.redtv.ca!

It started down the hall from a morgue...

In trying to discover my roots I realize that my committment to this idea of leaving a legacy began down the hall from a morgue. I realized that I wanted to change the world while I was working at a hospice in rural Alberta. My office was in the basement of the hospice, symbollic, really, of the difference in life trajectories of those dwelling on the main floor and those working for 8, 9, 10, 12 hours a day in the offices below. Above my desk, next to the clock that frequently reminded me that I had been there for too long, was a scrap of paper rescued from the recycling box in the children's play room upstairs. On this scrap of paper was a picture of Spiderman battling Dr.Octopus, drawn by child. Next to Spiderman and between Dr. Oc's tenticles I had written, on one of my first days at the Hospice, a fragment of a Bible verse, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be..." That was a particualrily trying day, I could not even bring myself to finish writing the verse because I was not all that sure that those who mourned in the rooms above me were really all that comforted. Over time I began to realize the beauty and infinite mercies of this time of life. One of these such mercies is the idea of leaving a legacy. On occasion, one of those beautiful life filled people who have seen almost everything, who have sucked the very marrow out of life, came to the hospice to die and to tell their story one last time. There were also those that seemed to be engrossed right in the middle of their stories, young, suffering from disease and haunted by the future that they would be leaving behind. They came to the hospice to try and write an ending before their story came to its natural end. And then there were those who seemed ready, their story had come to a natural elipses... The End.

I shared my office with the hospice accountant - a stunningly beautiful middle aged woman with an affinity for red shoes and fiery temper. To one side of our office was the office of the house manager. His office was a wonderment! A cavern filled with oxygen tanks, whirring dials and snaking pipes. Christmas decorations, ceramic pumpkins, discarded wheel chairs and cold cement walls. Jerry dwelled in the underbelly of the hospice. Jerry was the man behind the scenes, often overlooked, always underestimated and the person I naturally gravitated towards. He understood the way the world works, the way people work and had the uncanny ability to see the mechanics of everything upon a first encounter be it an unruly dishwasher, a new staff member or business plan. This character trait simultaneously inspired me and scared the hell out of me. Just a little further past Jerry's office, past the kitchen, past the laundry, was the morgue... The morgue was small, windowless, and empty until it wasn't. Jerry asked the tough questions. And so the idea of leaving a legacy began to roll around in my head - what will I do with my life between this moment of realization and the moment I am wheeled into a small, windowless room?

Looking at the glass, not through the window

This is from a blog that I had a couple of years ago and have since forgotten about. Before I deleted it I wanted to copy one of the entries to my new blog to give myself some roots. This is such a part of my journey! Reading this short entry brings me back to that summer, before I was married, when I was only half way through my degree in university, and just starting my career. So here it is:

Looking at the glass, not through the window.
On the bus this morning I spent a few minutes watching the tiny beads of condensation that had accumulated on the window. As I watched these beads merge together to form long, streaky drips across the window I noticed that as soon as the molecules gathered enough to form a drip, they then succumb to gravity leaving part of their new fledged community behind. These small molecules, left to the mercy of the sun, quickly evaporated and became a part of the wind. My eyes turn to the page of my book for a moment and then I begin to wonder what it would feel like to evaporate. How amazing it would feel to become a part of the wind! I think about the logistics of condensation. Ideally I would re-condense in my human form; whole, unchanged. But, in actuality, I think that some particles would be forever freed from their bodily prison, only to be enslaved for an eternity by the wind and the rest of my particles would probably be irrevocably disordered. The fact is, you can not become a part of the wind without being changed. And so I decide, right now, that if ever I am presented with the oppurtunity to evaporate and become irrevocably changed by the power of the wind, by the power of the One who makes the wind blow, then I will take it. I will leap from my community of molecules and lay in the heat, clinging to the bus window, waiting for each part of me to be inhaled by the sun and released into the wind. I will sacrifice the temporal for an eternity in the wind.


So this is where I have left off in my journey, a dreamer dreaming a million dreams. My dream now is to leave a legacy, a legacy of positive change, global change...

I will change the world.