Looking at the glass, not through the window

This is from a blog that I had a couple of years ago and have since forgotten about. Before I deleted it I wanted to copy one of the entries to my new blog to give myself some roots. This is such a part of my journey! Reading this short entry brings me back to that summer, before I was married, when I was only half way through my degree in university, and just starting my career. So here it is:

Looking at the glass, not through the window.
On the bus this morning I spent a few minutes watching the tiny beads of condensation that had accumulated on the window. As I watched these beads merge together to form long, streaky drips across the window I noticed that as soon as the molecules gathered enough to form a drip, they then succumb to gravity leaving part of their new fledged community behind. These small molecules, left to the mercy of the sun, quickly evaporated and became a part of the wind. My eyes turn to the page of my book for a moment and then I begin to wonder what it would feel like to evaporate. How amazing it would feel to become a part of the wind! I think about the logistics of condensation. Ideally I would re-condense in my human form; whole, unchanged. But, in actuality, I think that some particles would be forever freed from their bodily prison, only to be enslaved for an eternity by the wind and the rest of my particles would probably be irrevocably disordered. The fact is, you can not become a part of the wind without being changed. And so I decide, right now, that if ever I am presented with the oppurtunity to evaporate and become irrevocably changed by the power of the wind, by the power of the One who makes the wind blow, then I will take it. I will leap from my community of molecules and lay in the heat, clinging to the bus window, waiting for each part of me to be inhaled by the sun and released into the wind. I will sacrifice the temporal for an eternity in the wind.


So this is where I have left off in my journey, a dreamer dreaming a million dreams. My dream now is to leave a legacy, a legacy of positive change, global change...

I will change the world.