Changing Reality

For the writer of a blog that officially has only one follower I have and alarming measure of guilt for not writing since the middle of last year. Sigh. I have landed back on earth, once again, after a simultaneously dreamy and sleepless 6 months. 2010was quite a year in the Boucher household. We joyfully welcomed little Olivia into our family in July and have spent the last 6 months as parents, if you can believe that! Needless to say it has been a little hectic.

Before having Olivia, I so looked forward to my maternity leave, mostly because it meant our baby would finally be here with us, but also because I was excited to be, at least for one year, a stay at home wife and mother. Maternity leave has not exactly been what I expected, it has been full of joys, but also struggles. I am more than happy to be at home with my little girl, but I always had the comfort of knowing that I had a career, changing the world with a great organization and a comfortable salary to return too. Unfortunately that changed in November when, out the blue, I was fired. First of all, let me say this, not only it is illegal to fire a woman while she is on maternity leave, it is morally reprehensible. Apparently my job had become redundant, whatever that means.

Having a new baby put me into this strange emotional high. A bliss I had never experienced before in my life. I cried for joy on a daily basis (honestly I blame the happy breast feeding hormones). The world all the sudden became this great and amazing place where nothing bad could possibly happen because a child this great had entered it. Getting fired sort of burst that bubble. Oh right, bad things can happen.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't devastated about losing my job. And lying further if I didn't say my employer handled it badly and caused me much unnecessary hurt. But I am letting go, slowly. All this to say that my plans have changed out of necessity. I now live in this world of uncertainty. I have no idea where I will be when my maternity leave comes to an end. I really want to be excited about the possibility of change, and at times I truly am but being a parent brings this whole new and startling sense of responsibility. This is all part of my changing reality.

I hope a few months from now this experience becomes one of those delightful anecdotes that expound upon the adage "from everything bad comes something good."

Truthfully, I didn't intend for this blog entry to become a rant about getting fired, I still respect my former employer and the work that they do, I guess I just needed to vent. What a downer I have become. I intended this entry to be about my resolutions for changing myself and the world in 2011 and an overview of my amazing 2010. Perhaps I am not quite ready to let go of 2010... All of this venting and the midnight feedings have left me a little tired, give me some time, the resolutions will come.

Wishing you a year of peace and possibility!

Melissa