Is it really this simple?

Life is a miracle. When I began to learn the science of reproduction I began to understand really how many pieces have to come together at the exact same moment in order for life to form. How does it happen so often "by accident"? The truth is, I think we (humans) have very little to do with process - I know what you are thinking and let me stop you there - we are the process, I will admit that! I am creation.

Part of me just can not fathom how a God, who can see the ineptitudes of human beings, namely those of myself, would ever allow me to carry a life and eventually give birth to and raise a child of his creation. The whole journey of becoming a parent, for me anyhow, has been one of reconciliation with God. There is a new dynamic to our relationship that, as with many qualities of a relationship with God, is difficult for me to articulate. God has entrusted me with his most precious creation, and for the first time I truly feel as though God trusts me. It is as though God is teaching me faith by example, not only is He asking me to have faith in Him, He is asking me to have faith in myself.

It is still hard for me to believe that I am only 5 months into the journey, and have not even held my child yet and all of these feelings are coming to life inside of me that I never thought myself capable of bearing. Already, I love this child beyond reason. I am simultaneously aware of how perfectly and imperfectly suited to the role of motherhood I truly am and have founds peace with this reality.